Selah Marie's birth story!!!

Selahs birth story!!!

I was 40 weeks 6 days and it was Thursday the 16th of August. Justin had a softball game at 8:30. The kids and I decided we would go watch daddy play to get out of the house. We left the house around 6 or so and we went and got adjusted first. We needed a quick dinner so we went through the Mcdonalds drive through. Such awful labor fuel! I remember having several braxton hicks in the drive thru but didn’t think anything of them. I had been having so many braxton hicks the last few days. We went to the softball game and the kids and I had fun watching daddy play. I enjoyed talking to Erica and some other ladies on the bleachers. Throughout the entire game I was having pretty strong and what seemed to be regular braxton hicks. I never timed them. I pretty much just ignored them and wrote them off as more  practice contractions and sat on the uncomfortable bleachers tolerating them and enjoying myself. We left and on the way home I remember having a few that made me wonder if this could be the start of something. They seemed to be a little stronger than usual. We got home and tucked the kids into bed and I laid down to go to bed. By this time it was probably close to midnight. I decided to time these contractions before falling asleep to see if they were regular at all. I had about 6 that were around 8 min apart so Justin said we needed to hurry and try to get some sleep just in case this was it. They were still pretty mild at that point but I was getting pretty excited and then realized there was a few things left to do to prepare for her birth. As we laid there I was telling Justin things like don’t forget to air up the tub a little more before you add the water and don’t forget the floor plastic and the liner.. etc. I tried to get some sleep and around 4:30 am got out of bed. I couldn’t sleep through them anymore. They were getting painful and I knew this was it! I went into the living room and labored a little on my own. I called my mom and told her it was baby day!! At this point I was timing them at 3-4 min apart still fairly mild but I couldn’t speak through a contraction. I woke up Justin and told him it was baby day and I needed him to call the midwife. We called Beth and she was on her way. Then we decided to wake up Justin’s mom to help get the tub ready. At some point Noah and Olivia woke up and Justin was laying with them to get them back to sleep. So that left Elizabeth and I to prepare the tub. I was useless every 3-4 min so this was definitely not ideal. I decided maybe Erica could help so I told her to go ahead and head over. Nikki the midwives apprentice and Erica got to my house at the same time, then Beth and Rachel the midwives arrived around 5 am. I labored on my bed with my birth team around me during contractions I was on hands and knees leaning over a pillow just breathing deeply through them. Beth checked me and I was 5cm, and Selah was at +2 station. I labored all over the house, the freedom to move was the best feeling. My contractions spaced out a little but got stronger. I walked around squatted, bounced on my ball between contractions, and labored on my knees with my arms on the couch seat. I got sick twice during my labor. That was the worst! Throwing up during a contraction is not fun! Justin was sick because of nerves and all until about 9:00 then I decided I needed him with me. Up until then I was content laboring and not being touched just being on my own. I was finally able to get in my tub and the warm water felt amazing. It was still a little early to get in and stay in so I was in and out of the tub a lot while my labor progressed. Beth checked me again a few hours after the first time and I was 6cm. I remember refusing to be discouraged and then begin picking the midwives and apprentice’s brain on different positions and ways to help things along. Beth said the more it hurts during a contraction the more its doing. She said there was nothing holding me back from dilating my cervix was very soft but still a little posterior. So I was determined to do everything in my power to make labor harder so it would be faster. I kept moving laboring on the potty a little then walking then laboring on my ball or leaned over my bed then squatting. I wanted a cold rag on my head and neck almost constantly so that kept Erica and Justin busy. I knew keeping moving would be best. I remember several times thinking that I can do this because I AM doing this. Justin was sitting at our desk chair beside our bed and at this point it was getting closer to the end. I was moving between hands and knees on the bed laying my face on a pillow to the edge of the bed leaning over it swaying my hips back and forth. At this point I had been vocal during contractions for a while. Low deep moans got me through each wave. I remember being burning up hot during a contraction but freezing in between. Several times i turned my fan off and on. I was beginning to get so sleepy so I tried to just rest between contractions desperate for this to be over so I could take a nap. I said so many times “I just want to sleep”. I think thats what kept me going at this point, knowing as soon as it was over I could curl up and take a nap with my new baby. I got in the tub and my contractions were getting very intense at the peak of each contraction I would start to grunt and my body was starting to bear down. Beth checked me and I was 9! I went from 6 to 9 fairly quickly and she said there was basically nothing holding me back from being a 10. I just had a little lip left and it was soft. The birth team began to prepare everything for her to arrive. My mom arrived right around this time! Just in time for her birth. With each contraction the pushing got stronger and longer. My body just did it automatically. So I started to intentionally push along with the contractions. I was leaned over the tub holding my mom and Justin at 11:48 her head was born. When I was pushing her head out the intensity of it made me lift my bottom out of the water. So once her head was out I couldn’t go back in the water. While we were waiting I looked down between my legs but couldnt see her head because of the way I was positioned. I told my mom that beth was pushing on her but it was really just the pressure of her head being out. I waited for the next contraction holding my mom and Justin in a standing position at 11:50 I pushed the rest of her out and the midwife caught her and I reached down through my legs and pulled her up toward me. I had done it! She initially let out a scream. I got out of the tub and sat on the floor with her next to the tub she stopped crying and I asked if she was okay. Rachel quickly realized the cord was around her neck. As soon as that was off she suctioned her a little and Selah started screaming and screaming. Beth said talk to her, so I begin to talk to her for the first time. Still shocked and amazed at what had just happened. I said how much she looked like Noah and pointed out that she actually had hair!! She was still screaming so I tried to nurse her. She wasn’t interested so I just held her and talked to her. She had pooped all over me and her so we were both covered in black poop. I asked if I could get up in my bed with her, I wasn’t very comfortable on the floor. The team helped me onto my big tall bed with my new baby. Justin climbed in bed next to me with tears in his eyes and held his baby girl who was still attached to the placenta that was still in me. Her laying on my stomach was making the cramping even worse so he held her while I delivered the placenta. Beth helped me deliver the placenta and then checked and told me I had no tears except these 2 tiny places that were almost like little slits but they would heal pretty quickly. Everyone left the room and Justin had a few moments alone with our new baby girl. After our alone time we had our celebration bath with flowers and I quickly bathed afterward. Rachel did her newborn exam on the end of the bed and weighed her. She was 6lbs and 18.5 in long. Noah was in and out of the room during the whole process but Olivia barely wanted to leave Selahs side. She was so amazed with her and wanted to see everything that was going on. The kids were right in the next room while she was born. Elizabeth, my mother in law, had them and didn’t realize Selah was coming at that point. My mom made me a scrambled egg and cheese sandwich and I ate that while beth went over all of the postpartum things with me. I made sure and got a picture with my midwives and apprentices before they left. Finally around this time I could lay down and try to nap with my baby! I was so thankful my mom and Justin’s mom were there to help with the older kids while Justin and I slept. I had done it! I had a vbac at home and was finally able to take my nap. Each of my deliveries were vastly different and I can say without a doubt this was the best experience. 

aug 10 came and went ;)

Its been a while since i've updated! mostly because we are just waiting and waiting for our baby girl to decide she is ready. I'll be 41 weeks Friday and so far I really have no signs she's coming any time soon. My birthday is on  the 25th maybe she's holding out to be born on my special day. :) I can't even lie and say i'm just patiently waiting to go into labor. I'm emotional and grumpy most days when I realize i'm still pregnant :/ I just try to remind myself that this is the best way and she will come when she's ready even if i've BEEN ready. I have just tried to keep myself occupied which is easier said than done for sure. We signed Noah up for t ball and that has been a little distraction. He was supposed to have practice monday but it got rained out :( so his next practice is this Saturday and my best friend has a baby shower Sunday. So i'm definitely looking forward to those things. Her size is around 6 lbs and seeming to stay there. I think I would worry less if I didn't feel like her growth has slowed down some. I've been doing 100g of protein a day to get her weight up though and it worked pretty well from 37 weeks to 40 weeks she gained around 2 lbs. well hopefully my next post will be all about my home birth! I'm so excited for the chance to experience birth this way. As impatient as I am and ready for her to come, if someone offered me a pitocin drip in the hospital right now i'd refuse for sure. Oh,  but I cant end this post without saying something about peoples darn comments! maybe they mean well but gee i'm obviously still pregnant. I could definitely do without comments like "I thought you were supposed to be having a baby" or "werent you due last friday" or "whats your dr say" I'm not even a week over my "Due date" yet but most people are induced by now I guess. Last Sunday at church I was only a few days over, I imagine I'll even be at church this Sunday I wonder what kind of comments i'll get then :-/ yikes.

37 weeks!

I am officially considered full term but going into labor is the last thing I want right now. I saw my midwives this past Wednesday July 18th, and they estimated her weight was around 4 lbs and I was measuring 29 cm!!! This was the last thing I wanted to hear! I never imagined she would be so small at 37 weeks. My husband and I decided that day to have an ultrasound and see a Dr. to get his opinion on still having a home birth as long as I dont go into labor before shes about 5 lbs. So we dropped off the kids with Erica and drove to downtown atl to check on our baby girl. The midwives amaze me with their ability to just palpate and estimate her fetal weight within ounces!! The ultrasound said she was 4 lbs 3 oz! It has been an emotional few days dealing with this news and praying I don't go into labor and praying that baby girl hits a growth spurt so I can still have my home birth. I have been extremely proactive about taking in 100 grams of protein or more per day per my midwives recommendations. I don't know why but I just keep doubting that this will make her gain weight. Maybe its a lack of trusting my body after having 2 other small babies, but nonetheless I am gulping protein shakes and choking down protein bars. I will do everything I can to make her grow from this point on.

The dr said a home birth was still okay, but recommended close monitoring until labor came. He wants me to come back weekly for nonstress tests and maybe another ultrasound in a few weeks. I'm not sure we will be going back. He said that it was up to us and if we decided not to be monitored by him to make sure and constantly do kick counts and keep my appts with the midwives to monitor her growth. Not only have I dreamed about a home birth for 9 months now but the midwives are finally paid off and we have everything gathered for a home birth and our birth pool arrived a few days ago. I will be devastated to not get the birth i've been planning for so long.

I have to say my husband has been a HUGE support through this all. I was certain after hearing her weight had slowed that he would say absolutely not to still having a home birth but he has so much faith and hope that she will gain weight and we can still have her at home. He has been extremely helpful and encouraging with me counting my grams of protein everyday.

not only has this been emotional to learn that my body is having a hard time growing a baby for the 3rd time but I worry about our little girl. I want more than anything for her to arrive into this world safely whatever that takes. I couldn't be more thankful that she's such an active little girl so I know that she's doing okay.

It may be too much to ask or pray for but I see the MW again this next Wednesday and I would love for her to be 5 lbs! that would be fast growth but then at least I wouldn't have to worry so much about being sent to the hospital if I went into labor.

If she still seems to be around 4 lbs I think I may just lose it right there. that would be awful :( I guess I'll update again wednesday!

35 weeks!!

Not much new to report, thankfully this pregnancy has gone pretty smoothly the past few weeks! I am 35 weeks now and had my home visit today with the midwives! It went really well. It was so strange discussing my birth plans in detail, I still feel like I have a long way to go, but hopefully these last 5 weeks or so will fly by! Im so ready to meet this baby girl! Justin and I have yet to name her! We are so indecisive! I really want her to have a name before she gets here though. The midwifes today predicted her to be around 4-4.5 lbs, which is a little small still but not bad for 35 weeks! I am measuring very small though. I was measuring 28 cm today! So strange. Erica and I will be ordering the birth tub very soon and I can't wait for that to arrive! I have felt great though and have had very little complaints. Heart burn has been pretty bad but other than that I feel pretty good! Justin and I have been trying to take walks in the morning before it gets too hot. We take our short walk and then the kids play on the play ground. I have gained the most weight I have gained in any of my other pregnancies and It will not be fun to try and shed! I have gained around 25 lbs. By the time she arrives I will be huge!

I cant be more excited that we are planning a home birth though. I know natural labor will be difficult but It is the best thing for baby girl and I.

My favorite things these days is relaxing in the evening and crocheting, watching tv with my big glass of water full of ice. I have also gotten in the habit of taking a long warm bath every night and I think that helps to keep my muscles from being too sore.

A scary ER trip

Lots to update since the last post!!!

Ill just start with my scary hospital visit. On memorial day weekend I decided the kids and I should travel to Mobile, al to see family (about a 6 hour drive). The day after arriving I went to the restroom and discovered bright red blood on my underwear. I have never had bleeding with any of my pregnancies so this alarmed me just a little. I was a little crampy but nothing like I thought I could be in labor. I went to the restroom again and there was more blood. I called my midwife and she asked a few questions and said it may be best to go get checked out at a hospital. So my mom and I went to the ER. And not to be too graphic but it was quite a bit of blood enough that I had to put on a pad. It was a little nerve wrecking! I was only 29 weeks and all I could think was that I did NOT want to meet this precious baby girl now. Anyway, after hours in the hospital, they said everything looked great and sent me home with no answers as to why i was bleeding. I got an ultrasound the placenta looked great, fluid looked great, and she even caught up quite a bit in size!, I was having some mild contractions which i got a shot to stop and she checked my cervix and I was completely closed. So everything looked perfect and it turned out to be nothing! So thankful!! The bleeding tapered out and eventually stopped after a few days of darker blood. On 2 more occasions I had some cramping and a small amount of bloody mucous when I wiped. I can only contribute this to dehydration. On both of these occasions I hadn't drank enough water for the day. I'm not positive though. I'm just thankful baby girl looks great and is an active little blessing

Other than these few things I have had a great pregnancy. I have the usual aches and pains every now and then but for the most part I feel great! I see an awesome Chiropractor weekly and im sure this is why I can stay feeling so good. I'm 32 weeks. My midwife appts are wonderful. I go this Wednesday, then July 8th I have my home visit then I start going weekly!! Even though I only have roughly 8 weeks im fairly certain these next 2 months will drag! I'm starting to nest already, and getting very anxious to meet this baby girl. I'm already so in love with her, and I love being pregnant and feeling her kick around. The kids are getting excited to meet their new little sister. Im not sure they can really comprehend that im growing a baby in my belly but they seem to be pretty aware. Noah said that she was going to get bigger and bigger then come out, then he proceeded to ask me if it would hurt. :) such a sweet little man. We will be making another trip to mobile next week and I just hope my hips and back can handle the car ride. 

I guess I should start considering ordering the birthing tub soon and start gathering supplies!

I have been trying to keep myself busy with knitting and crocheting hats and blankets. I just finished my 2nd quarter of Chiropractic school and will be starting back July 9th. I will be taking 7 hours, which is only 2 classes and I will only go Monday-Wednesday. I had initially planned on taking the quarter off but this seems to work out better. Hopefully my teachers are understanding and accommodating.

well until next time! 

Finally sitting down to write another update on pregnancy number 3!! This is not the most recent belly pic but it is the most recent one i have on my computer! I am 28 weeks and this pic was taken around 25 weeks. I will upload some more in the next few days. I feel like my belly is smaller than it was with Olivia but I feel like she's consistently growing though. I think when I get a little further along my midwives will possibly want another ultrasound to make sure she's still doing great.

I think I forgot to mention in my last post that she was measuring in less than the 3rd percentile with size, according to the ultrasounds that I had at around 20 weeks, 22 weeks and like 24 weeks. Not sure about the exact dates at this moment. But in each ultrasound she had consistently grown from the last one. Staying nicely in her curve. So I am hoping she is continuing on that pattern. The ultrasounds looked great in every other aspect though. Fluid was good, placenta is posterior, the umbilical flow is good as well as the uterine artery flow.

So last Wednesday I had an appt with my homebirth midwife at her office. I just have to add, so far I LOVE the experience of planning a home birth with these wonderful ladies. Its so different than being under care with an OB and even a CNM.  Its so personal, laid back, and refreshing. Pregnancy and birth is a natural beautiful process not a medical condition, and I love being under care somewhere that treats it as such. Im an individual in this care setting, not a number or a paycheck. Not to say every OB views their patients this way at all! ;)

The appt went well though. I was 27 weeks at the appt.  The worst part was Justin not being able to make it. Hopefully its the only one he has to miss. I had the kids, and was nervous about that but they did fantastic for me.  Last appt I measured 20 cm. at 24 weeks This appt I measured 23.5 cm. at 27 weeks. My midwife did not have a weight estimate but definitely felt like she has grown from last appt, just from palpating. Palpation is another beautiful thing in midwifery. My last appt my midwife felt around and estimated baby girl to be a little over a lb. I ended up having an ultrasound the very next day and she was 1 lb 3 oz. So dang she's good! I love how hands on these ladies are. Its like going back to the basics, how I imagine things used to be before the medical profession took over prenatal care and delivery.

I had my hemoglobin test done and it was 10ish. Which, if i remember correctly may be a tad low. Blood pressure and baby's heart rate and everything else looked good though. Olivia insisted we listen to her "baby" with the fetascope which was cute ;) She loves to rub my big round belly and say "just like a penguin" it makes no sense but to her it does. I love a 2 year olds mind.

I feel like for a few months Justin had major reserves about a home birth finding out about her size. Having one IUGR baby I think those fears are justifiable but I think we are working through them as we go.  I may write a post just on fears and how to combat them just because I think its important to work through them for the next 12 weeks. So when delivery gets here we are more than confident in my body's ability to deliver her safely into this world. Don't get me wrong I am VERY confident in my decision to have a home birth and trust the midwives that I have, but preparing for a birth in general fears can arise. Well until next time! 3 more weeks of classes and then finals and ill be on break from school. Which I am more than ready for. :)

I wanted to start this blog to document my pregnancy and planning my home birth. I want to remember for myself and it will be out there for anyone that could be helped by our story. I am 26 weeks pregnant with our 3rd little one and we are currently planning a home birth. It will actually be an HBAC (home birth after Caesarean) I want a place to write down my fears my feelings my excitements and anticipations. Please keep in mind this is personal information and the last thing I need or what is criticism the purpose of this blog was not intended for that.

My first child who is 3 years old now was  a csection. He was IUGR and only 3.10 at birth. We had a trial of labor and around 4-5 cm he started having fetal distress, so I ended up with a section. His birth and the events after still scar my heart and soul as a mother and I can barely talk about his delivery without shedding tears. People don't realize the life long effects ,whether good or bad, have on a mother.

My first born was only 5 months and still exclusively nursing when I found out I was pregnant with number 2!!! I knew immediately I wanted a VBAC and wouldn't accept anything less than trying. I went to my first prenatal appt with my OB and mentioned a vbac to him. Without hesitating he said absolutely not. He wanted me to have a scheduled c-section. I then found a CNM that would allow me to try for a vbac to care for us and deliver my baby. She was wonderful and I loved the switch from an OB to a midwife. Because of my previous baby with IUGR she scheduled a few more ultrasounds than usual but it was a pretty uneventful pregnancy. At 36 weeks we went for an ultrasound to check her size and they suggested an induction for low fluid and her size, which was estimated around 5 lbs. I think they were scared that she might have growth problems like her older brother. Although i'm a small person at only 5ft even so its likely a 5 lb baby at 36 weeks is perfectly normal for me.

So thankfully I had a successful VBAC and although there are things I would have changed about her labor and delivery ultimately I got a vbac and that meant more to me than anything.

So here we are at 26 weeks with our 3rd and for many many many reasons I decided a home birth is what my heart really desires. We found a midwife (whom I will not name) and we love her!

My first trimester was rough! I had terrible morning sickness but around 20 weeks I finally started feeling more like myself! So far everything looks good, I did see an OB for concerns about her size but the Doctors couldn't find any problem that could be causing her to be small, so I am comfortable staying with my plan of a home birth. I feel like my midwife is more than capable of tracking her growth and making sure she is continuing to grow at a good rate.  At my 20 week anatomy scan they saw echogenic bowel but only about 10 days later it was already resolved. So heres my journey in a nutshell up to where we are now! I have an appt with my homebirth midwife next week and she hopes to see growth. She wants the baby to be around 2 lbs or close to it. At my last appt I was 24 weeks and measuring 20 so she will want to see some growth there as well. Until next time!! I'll try to update as much as possible! :)